[Snoozevamp] The Cage

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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Mon Sep 26, 2016 8:58 pm

Kind of all the time, yes. But Damian shouldn't have to take on Bruce's problems, so he won't. (He will, he'll take them all if it makes him love Damian)

Shit, Jerel, of course he'll get pissed off. But a regular person is miles better than some grabby Sentinel! And...Dick's life has changed but not in the immediate ways that Jerel would obviously like to see. Does he want a big shift in both their lives so that this feels better?

"Against my better judgement, occasionally. Yes," Tremas murmurs. Thankfully there aren't many people around them. He could have taken the food in his rooms, of course. But he didn't.

"That sounds," Mitz pauses. It sounds legit, which means it probably isn't. He wants to pry but he shouldn't, so he doesn't. "That sounds interesting. Definitely interesting is what it sounds like." He's not lying, at least.
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Mon Sep 26, 2016 11:27 pm

Bruce would probably be content if Damian only acknowledged his problems, and his efforts to deal with them. ...however paltry those efforts are. (gotta teach him how to love first Damian--not like that though)

No! Fucking--no. Don't be--obtuse, Dick, it doesn't suit you. Jerel just wants Dick to be--affected by this. Not--like the jealousy, flattering though it is. It's just that Jerel's making all these changes, and Dick's just basically sitting there with his arms folded waiting for the world to adapt to him. Jerel runs his hands through his hair. Like, Dick's a Sentinel sure, but that doesn't mean he has to be stuck in the past. He's got a Guide now. And Jerel's not going anywhere. Dick should be able to do a whole lot more stuff now.

He's probably sitting at a high table in a dining hall, presiding over everyone. Heh. "Well," says D'tor, a little bit stumped. He wasn't expecting Tremas to agree with him. "I'm glad to hear it," he finally settles on, and it comes out a little bit too soft.

"I'm sure you will get the opportunity to meet them," Snooze says.
"Can't stay in the engine room all the time," Jerel agrees. The more he pushes, he thinks, the more Mitz might retreat into his shell, but he has to try. He wants to try.
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Sep 28, 2016 8:25 pm

Yes well we can't always get what we want do we /damiangrumble (NOT LIKE THAT)

He's not...! Dick sighs, running his hand through his hair and sitting down. For once, he doesn't take Jerel with him. Okay. Alright, Jerel. Dick is hearing what he's saying and he'll...Dick closes his eyes, thinking briefly about how difficult it will be for his brothers for a short time. He'll...They'll leave. Dick's been eyeing up some territory. But Jerel won't like it. It won't be easy. He won't be comfortable. He still won't be doing what he wants to do. Dick doesn't know how to fix it, Jerel.

Tremas snorts. Trust D'tor to get lost for words the second Tremas is actually friendly to him. For all his words, that's not what he wants. It's never what he wants. "I'm sure," Tremas drawls. He motions for more to drink, but otherwise he feels like this conversational branch has died. He doesn't know what to do with himself if they aren't fighting.

Mitz makes a face at Jerel. "Look, the engine room is nice. It's warm, it's loud all the time in a way that's kinda soothing and it smells great. And everyone else has their space and they're fine, right?" Mitz doesn't think he's doing anything wrong, anyway.
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Sep 28, 2016 9:34 pm

Yes, Bruce has felt that one before. Heard! Heard.

Jerel /means/ that Dick should get a damn job. They don't have to move across the country or even out of town, but Dick's just--he doesn't understand why Jerel is so upset is because he doesn't have anything like Jerel's job. Jerel had a purpose, okay, and his purpose was to help people, and now his purpose is to help /Dick/, and he's having trouble adjusting to being a one-Sentinel guy, but he can do that! He can do it. He's going to try. But Dick's got to try, too. They can't just sit around the city all the time waiting for someone to need help. They've got to go out there and do something.

D'tor takes the klah from the serving girl and pours it himself. "Against your better judgement, though, hm. Your better judgement tells you not to like me?"

"I like my own space, too," Snooze tells Mitz. "I effectively rent this shuttle separately to the rest of the ship, like an apartment in a building."
"But it's nice to come out sometimes," Jerel puts in. "C'mon, am I the only non-hermit in this room?"
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Sat Oct 01, 2016 9:44 am

Tt.

What--what the hell does Jerel think Dick does? Sit around and wait for someone to need help? He's constantly training, he's always on patrol. Or, okay, he would be if he weren't benched. It used to be because he wasn't bonded and he'd zone and--anyway. Now he's useless because if he tries to find Jerel's heartbeat, he'll find him with another Sentinel. And Jesus, Jerel, don't look at him like that. He's not accusing Jerel of /anything/. But when he's on patrol, he's on instinct. They're /all/ on instinct. ...so he's benched. Dick'll, he'll just keep the details to himself, okay. Because he doesn't want to make Jerel feel guilty or anything, that's not the point. But, fuck. It kills him. So no, he doesn't have anything like Jerel's job. But he's been kicked out of his purpose twice now. So maybe they should move.

Tremas raises an eyebrow. "Are you willing to go down that road right now, D'tor? Certainly, I don't mind telling you the truth when it's asked for, but I'd rather not get into specifics outside of my own private room."

"Yes," Mitz smiles, hiding behind his tea a little. He's missed teasing Jerel like that. Sometimes he lines himself up but only sometimes. Mitz used to have to wait patiently to get a chance. "You like people. People like you. It's easy for you." He pauses, then turns to look at Snooze curiously. "You should be the same, right? But you hermit up in here like I do with the engine?"
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Sun Oct 02, 2016 9:51 pm

Honey.

Well then Dick needs to get off the bench! Why didn't he tell Jerel that's what he was--was he waiting for Jerel to get with the program, somehow magically divine that that was what Dick needed him to, like, get on board with? Don't keep the details to yourself. If Dick's already got his job, his purpose, and he needs Jerel for it, then he needs to /tell Jerel that/. Was he planning on just sidelining himself forever?

"We could go to your room," D'tor suggests, but he doesn't really want to be reamed out after such a good night and morning. They don't get a nice full day sometimes.

"I bother people," Snooze says, after a moment.
Jerel opens his mouth to protest, then he sighs. "Your job bothers people who weren't raised with it."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Tue Oct 04, 2016 8:37 pm

Damian does not appreciate your tone.

He was /planning/ on waiting until Jerel was settled. He was /planning/ on easing Jerel into the idea of being an active Guide on the field. He was /planning/ on taking his damn time. He doesn't keep details from himself but he's not about to make Jerel's life more difficult than it already is just because Dick's useless right now. How's that going to fucking help? He wasn't waiting around for Jerel to suddenly make things better, you ass, he was waiting for the right time to start moving on---on fucking anything! Jerel was priority one, getting him settled with other. Fucking. Sentinels. Because /that/ was making him happy. Don't for a second make Dick out to be the asshole here, Jerel, because he knows he's not. He knows for a fact that he was trying to make it easier so don't dare to make him feel shitty about it.

Tremas continues to eat for a moment or two longer, thinking about the different possible results of them going to his room. "You'll have to go back, soon," he says and what he means is 'you should go before this is ruined'.

Mitz cocks his head. "How could it bother them?" Companions do a lot of things, Mitz is aware. Whenever he thought about buying their time, it was always to have someone to talk to. How could that bother anyone? "I can understand being bothered by the people who buy your time. I, I, I hated myself for needing the company. But---but all you're doing is being there for someone."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Tue Oct 04, 2016 8:45 pm

I will endeavour to change it, but that doesn't stop the fact that honey.

There's never a right time! He was waiting for Jerel to be settled only to turn it all upside down again? How would that have ever have been fair, to either of them? That wouldn't have been easier. That would have been harder. That would've been Jerel getting settled at /whatever/ and then Dick feeling too guilty to upend what Jerel has, so he just shuts up forever, suffering /forever/. There's been this low-grade discomfort all the time, all the time, as long as Jerel's known Dick, and Jerel's never noticed it because it's always been there. And now Jerel's thinking it's because Dick's been /waiting/.

D'tor inclines his head, slowly. "I suppose I will. Perhaps a few moments, alone, so you can tell me what you really think of me before I go?" He's looking more at the dregs in his cup than he is at Tremas. Tremas can take those few moments to tell him never to come back, if he wants, but D'tor thinks he won't. He hopes he won't.

"Most people out here think of me only being there for sex," Snooze explains, after a moment's hesitation. He wants Mitz to be clear on this, so he doesn't embarrass himself potentially defending Snooze in front of the crew.
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Oct 05, 2016 11:06 pm

Tt.

God, he's not /suffering/. It's just uncomfortable. What the hell else was he going to do, Jerel? Everything's fixed for him and, like, in a blink. His whole life makes sense now just for having Jerel around. He's stronger, he's faster, he feels smarter, he works better. But Jerel gets...what? He gets to have to worry about his job security and what he's going to do with his life. Why the hell wouldn't Dick wait until Jerel was feeling better before continuing to fuck things up for him, huh?

"We wouldn't have the time for me to go into it in detail, my dear D'tor," Tremas snorts a little. D'tor is always so dramatic. He already knows how Tremas feels about him, has always known.

Mitz blinks, blushes a little just because he realised that he's talking to a very good looking man about his sex work, then glances at Jerel. "Only for sex?" he asks both of them. "That's a little...narrow."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Oct 05, 2016 11:18 pm

Hee.

Guide rights are non-existent, okay, like, Jerel was literally raised to be a Guide from the day he was born. He was trained to service, to help, because that's all a Guide is ever gonna be good for. The day they find their Sentinel, their lives change to match that Sentinel, to help the Sentinel do whatever it is they're supposed to do with their lives. Protect the city. Protect the tribe. It's never the other way around. Jerel just--he didn't even think, okay, he was selfish and stupid and he should have remembered to quit his job or change his job or whatever, but he was just so caught up in finally having his Sentinel, in finally feeling like he /belonged/. It's better for things to change straight up. They would never have had this fight if Jerel had just--look, it'll be fine. Stop--stop feeling so upset. Jerel's trying to ignore it so he can keep fighting, god, how fucking /horrible/ is he, he's sorry. He's really sorry, Dick.

"I suppose you'll have to content yourself with writing me a letter, then." D'tor, on impulse, reaches out to rest his hand on top of Tremas', briefly, before returning it to his klah cup and taking a mouthful. One of the last few mouthfuls.

"People out here don't waste money on conversation or tea or being held," Jerel says, looking at his own tea cup. He's just realised, he should be paying Snooze for this. They're doing the things Snooze can be paid for, can charge for. He didn't even think. He should at least pay Snooze back for the tea.
"Some do," Snooze objects, gently. "But they would never admit it."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Oct 05, 2016 11:41 pm

Dick rubs his face in frustration, then takes Jerel's hands. He closes his eyes and breathes carefully, working very, /very/ hard to stop feeling upset. Keep fighting, Jerel, he says after a moment when he's gotten his emotions under control. It means he doesn't have much emotion in his words, but he's not lifeless. Keep fighting if that's what you want to do. Dick shouldn't be able to just make Jerel feel like that because he's not feeling happy himself. Jerel's not horrible. He's perfect, understand? There's not a bone in his body capable of being horrible. He shouldn't have to drop everything for Dick, that's not fair. That's what they're fighting about. ....okay, that and the fact that Jerel has to work with other Sentinels and Dick's trying to keep it together.

"And give you the satisfaction of knowing that I was thinking about you when you're not around?" Tremas scoffs. He doesn't move his hand away, but he does raise an eyebrow at D'tor. They do have the worst kept secret in the whole world, surely, but that's no reason to go blabbing now.

"What else would you spend money on, apart from food?" Mitz wonders quietly. "Like, okay. Some people have kids to worry on, fine. And there's clothes to think about. But if you have no-one, then spending money on having someone makes sense. Even if it's only for a little while it's not a waste." He sighs a bit, since he knows he's only speaking for himself and no-one else. He looks at Snooze. "Sorry people don't treat you right even though you're doing them a favour just for being."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Oct 05, 2016 11:51 pm

Dick's right, it is what they're fighting about. And Jerel is being horrible. Dick has a /calling/, okay, and Jerel has a calling, too, and he's been ignoring that, ignoring Dick, just like he's ignoring his feelings right now in order to fight with him. Jerel's an asshole. It's okay to say it. Jerel's been a total asshole, and he's been ruining everything slowly because he's selfish and an idiot and he should have thought, just taken ten minutes and really /thought/ about the fact that life was supposed to change.

For once, they don't have to worry about Selly running into the room and finding them, or having the healers whispering where Selly might hear. Selly is half a world away, and people at the weyr don't have any idea about D'tor and Tremas. For once, they can have breakfast together, in public, and not worry. D'tor couldn't let that chance slip by. "I'll just have to fill my letters with boring news from the weyr. Like talking about wing formations. I know you love those."

"Medicine," Jerel supplies, quietly. "They spend it on medicine. And little things to decorate their spaces, like blankets, and art. And they send it to their families. Family's big, Mitz. Most people on this crew are sending money home to someone, most people on every crew. Weapons," he adds. God knows there's enough of them on this ship, between Thaey and Mouse. "And saving up to spend some time planetside, which isn't cheap. You know you have to pay to go into parks? I never used to realise, because it would just ping off my chip and the amount would be so small I wouldn't even notice." He picks at the old scar on his hand where he took out his credit chip, to prevent location tracking. "It's not small."
"The thing that people will happily spend their money on is sex," Snooze says, before Jerel gets too maudlin and ruins the tea. "So they tend to think sex is all I do for my clients. But sex is also somewhat shameful, since it is pleasurable, and not necessary for survival. All such unncessary pleasures are shameful, to some." He smiles a little. "I do thank you, though. For your words. Doing them a favour, just for being. I like that."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Thu Oct 06, 2016 3:36 am

Dick shakes his head, pulling at Jerel's hands until he can get Jerel in a hug. He's not a total asshole. He was worrying about his future. That's allowed. Don't be like about yourself, Jerel. He hasn't ruined anything. Look around them, okay? Nothing's ruined, they're still together, nothing's ruined. Dick can't help himself, barely thinks about it, and buries his nose into Jerel's hair. He feels instantly better.
Okay. How about they start looking at places in this territory Dick's been eyeing up?

There is that. But people can still write letters out of badness. "Oh, by all means, please ruin my days from afar. I'm sure you'll delight in that."

Mitz feels pretty terrible for not thinking about medicine or big families. But, really, he was talking about people who are alone. Those people aren't alone. "Sorry," he says quickly, looking at the floor. He glances at Snooze and gives a shrug and a shake of the head. "You're welcome. But sorry."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Thu Oct 06, 2016 11:21 pm

They don't have to go. Jerel presses his hands, hard, into Dick's back, holding him right where he is. He breathes out against Dick's neck. They don't have to go anywhere, if Dick doesn't want to. Just--patrol. They can start with that, if Dick wants. And Jerel'll change his job. You know what, Jerel can train someone else to do what he does, another unattached Guide, and that can be his new job for a while. Then he can transition to specialist surgery, which is much less demanding. It's a good plan.

"Well, you can always give lots of unnecessary advice, if it will make you feel better," D'tor suggests, quirking his eyebrow.

"You need not be sorry," Snooze assures him. "This is my employment. This is my work. I like it. And I have developed a thick skin, since travelling."
Jerel forgot all about how much Mitz apologised. How could he forget that?
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Thu Oct 06, 2016 11:49 pm

That's a good plan, Dick says carefully. Is that what Jerel wants? Man, he wishes he could do that thing that Bruce does where he smells the shift in a person to tell if they're lying. Don't lie, Jerel. Is that what he wants? What does he want? Fuck Dick's calling, okay, just for a second. He's always going to be a mess of instinct and genetic imperatives. That's never going to change. And it's not that bad not being able to patrol--it's always good to have someone in the Manor, just in case. So what does Jerel want?

"It's only unnecessary to you because you're convinced that you're never wrong," Tremas counters easily. "If you listened to me occasionally I guarantee you would have less disaster in your life."

"No, I know, sorry, I know," Mitz says very quickly. He feels like an idiot, now. He didn't even think. "It's just--what Jerel said..." How he said it. "There's a lot of stuff that's different out in the black. And I wasn't thinking. And I'm just used to people talking about what they do. But that's not right, is it? Even if you like what you do. You don't know me. It wasn't right of me. Rude. So sorry."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Thu Oct 06, 2016 11:57 pm

Jerel wants to be Dick's Guide, and he wants to be a doctor. And he wants Dick to be happy. Fully happy, one hundred percent happy. He's not lying, he swears. He clutches at Dick's shirt.

D'tor barks a laugh. "Disaster isn't the word I'd use."

Jerel rests his hand on Mitz's shoulder. "You're okay, Mitz."
"I do hope you do not feel the need to avoid talking about me or what I do," Snooze says, after a moment.
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Sat Oct 08, 2016 3:41 am

Dick puts his arms around Jerel and holds on. Okay. Alright, alright. Jerel? It's okay. And, you know what, he's happy if he's with Jerel. That's why he didn't bother with all that stuff about, you know, The Mission. That's what Bruce calls it. He just didn't care as much about that as he did about Jerel. He's been missing Jerel all his life. They're not like other pairs who get to grow up and get to know each other and train and settle. They've already grown, there's already a life there. Dick just wants to be in Jerel's. ...he knows he's not lying, okay? He just wanted to make sure that Jerel didn't say anything just to make Dick happy.

Tremas raises an eyebrow. "And what word would you--incorrectly--use?"

Mitz frowns a little and doesn't shake Jerel's hand off, but it's a close thing. He knows he's okay. He's apologising for what he said. It's important. He ignores that for a second. "I, I, I, uh?" Mitz swallows for a moment, disgusted with his behaviour since walking into the shuttle. "I, um, I don't know why I wouldn't talk about you or what you do. That, it seems like other people who have a problem."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Mon Oct 10, 2016 10:58 pm

Jerel knows, too, that Dick's not lying. That he is happy when he's with Jerel. But there's the longing, there, too--probably a Sentinel longing, the longing to be part of something, to be important to the tribe, to protect, to serve. That's Jerel's guess. It feels different to how Dick longs for other things. They're gonna work this out, okay, he says. They're going to be better at this.

"Excitement?" D'tor suggests, grinning.

"Good." Snooze inclines his head, almost bowing to Mitz. "That is how, I think, I see it, too."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Mon Oct 10, 2016 11:11 pm

Yeah, Jerel. He wants to be a real Sentinel, of course he does. But he can ignore that if he needs to. (Actually, he's thinking that he might be able to go back onto the force now that Jerel is in his life and he won't fuck up as often, which might satisfy his Sentinel urges and make Jerel feel a little better about him not having a Real Job.)

"Excitement," Tremas repeats with a laugh. "That's a fascinating spin. Tell me this, D'tor, does your dragon agree with me or you? Is it disaster or excitement?"

"I'm glad," Mitz says stiffly, formally, and finishes his tea. "And I think I've put my foot in it enough for one cycle, don't you guys? I'll be, uh. I'll be going back to the engine room. Thank you," he adds to Snooze, standing up.
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Mon Oct 10, 2016 11:19 pm

He shouldn't. Dick deserves to have everything he wants. He can do it now, so he should. He shouldn't deny himself just because he's used to denying himself. (I imagine the PD would be ecstatic to have a fully functioning Officer Grayson back on staff.)

"Well, he's currently thinking mostly about sunlight," D'tor grins. "Oh, no. Now he's thinking we're both wrong. It's not excitement or disaster. It's organised chaos."

"You are welcome. You are," Snooze adds, thoughtfully, "welcome. Here. If you would ever like to talk, or have another cup of tea. I only ask that you knock." He stands as well, and offers Mitz a bow, as he's supposed to.
Jerel wants to spend more time with Mitz, even if they just hang out together in silence in the engine room. He stands and bows in return to Snooze, so Snooze doesn't feel awkward, or Mitz doesn't feel awkward, either.
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Mon Oct 10, 2016 11:33 pm

Dick rubs Jerel's arms, trying to comfort him. All he's saying is that they can choose their priorities right. That's all. Dick doesn't mind waiting. (Hell yes they would.)

Tremas snorts. "That's as good as saying we are both right, too."

Mitz smiles a little. He won't suspect that Snooze is plying his trade until someone else points it out to him later. He's not used to people inviting him places, not even with agendas. It won't occur to him. "Thank you," he says again, then leaves the shuttle.
He shoots Jerel an exasperated look, mostly because of his own actions, and makes his way back to the engine room.
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Mon Oct 10, 2016 11:36 pm

Dick's waited enough. It's time to get things working the way that they should. They'll both be happier.

"I suppose he's a peacemaker," D'tor suggests, smiling.

Jerel says his own goodbyes and hustles after Mitz, the door of the shuttle sliding closed behind them. Snooze takes his time finishing his tea and cleaning up the tray. There's not much to do, out in space, so he can take his time with anything he does. It might be nice to have someone else to talk to on board, if Mitz ever takes him up on his offer. It can get lonely out here, especially for a Companion who is used to having every minute booked, planetside.
Jerel catches up to Mitz. "So that was okay, right?"
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Mon Oct 10, 2016 11:58 pm

Dick catches Jerel's mouth in a soft, sweet kiss. He'd love that, he says quietly. Maybe a little quieter than he means to.

"How odd for you to have a peacemaker as your soulmate," Tremas comments, seemingly passively.

"Oh, yeah," Mitz says, feigning happiness sarcastically. "That went wonderfully. And I didn't make a fool of myself in front of /everyone/ else, either." He knew this would happen.
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Tue Oct 11, 2016 9:58 pm

Jerel catches Dick's hands and holds on as they kiss. He's sorry he's been selfish. He's sorry he's been an ass. Just let him apologise, please, he adds, already feeling the wave of protest welling.

"They say the dragons provide us with a sort of balance within ourselves. Overly aggressive people will often have gentle dragons, for example, or good-humoured dragons." D'tor thinks of T'yed and the ever-amused, good-tempered Yamareth.

"You met everyone. You talked to them. You didn't offend any of them. Hell, little brother, that's better than my first day," Jerel tells him. Pretty sure he managed to piss off Mouse because that's his usual MO, anyway.
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Tue Oct 11, 2016 10:19 pm

Dick sighs and smiles at the same time. Alright, Jerel, apology accepted. Just--okay, do Dick a favour? Don't insult yourself, gorgeous. It makes Dick's chest twist up like crazy.

"So you have a peaceful, quiet-loving, reasonable, truthful dragon?" Tremas asks sweetly.

"Alright, I didn't offend anyone, but I think it was a close thing. Don't you? I offended you," he points out.
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Tue Oct 11, 2016 10:23 pm

He was behaving in the manner of an ass, Jerel amends. Is that better? He offers Dick a little smile.

"He's very pleased with that assessment," D'tor assures him. "And I enjoy the quiet, when I have time for it, thank you."

"You didn't offend me," Jerel promises him. "I've been offended kind of a lot out here. Trust me. You didn't offend me."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Tue Oct 11, 2016 10:49 pm

It's a little better, Dick laughs and hugs Jerel close. They were both behaving in the manner of asses. Dick was being--secretive. Which is just what they do around here but he swears he wasn't doing it on purpose.

"Oh, I complimented your dragon?" Tremas sucks his teeth, disappointed. "I meant to insult /you/. I must be losing my touch."

Mitz rolls his eyes and gives Jerel another look. "Don't, Jerel. I know how I sounded. All Core-fresh and stupid. You were offended."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Tue Oct 11, 2016 10:51 pm

Jerel hums. Yeah, don't do that anymore, if he can help it, please. Dick can keep secrets from them; he jerks his head towards the door. But not here.

"Or I'm developing a thicker hide," D'tor suggests, quirking his eyebrow.

"Well, you /are/ Core-fresh. You're not stupid, though. You're just different. You'll learn." Jerel shrugs. "Things are different out here. You'll pick it up quick enough."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Tue Oct 11, 2016 11:20 pm

He's the most open of all of them if that helps? Dick smiles hopefully. That's what he's been told. But, no, Jerel's right. No secrets, gorgeous. He hates them anyway, he doesn't know why he did it.

"After all these years, D'tor?" Tremas raises an eyebrow. "Surely you're not such a late bloomer."

"I'm /not/ Core-fresh, Jerel. I've been travelling around with ships for a good year now. Alright, you know things and you've been doing it for longer, but you can't just decide to come back from the dead and tell me that I'm different, that I don't know things, to remind me that I'm a gorram idiot," Mitz pretty much explodes. He puts his hand up, closes his eyes and breathes. "Sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. I'm just...I'm embarrassed. I was embarrassed. That--that. That wasn't fun. I didn't have fun."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Tue Oct 11, 2016 11:25 pm

If Jerel had to guess? Because Dick wanted to keep Jerel happy. Jerel hugs him.

D'tor chuckles. "It had to happen sometime, don't you think?"

Jerel sets his jaw. "You know what, you think you might have travelled, but if how you've behaved on this ship is any indication, all you've done is /hide/." He scowls at Mitz. "It wasn't about fun. It was about being a real person. About not being dead, yourself. Because if you just sit in your room all day, what difference does it make whether your room's on Persephone or a junker?"
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Tue Oct 11, 2016 11:43 pm

Dick smiles. He only ever wants Jerel to be happy and safe, he says as he leans his head on Jerel's through the hug. Those are his goals, right now. But that doesn't mean anything if what he does to keep him happy ends up making him upset.

"Tsk, if you must," Tremas nearly complains honestly, not just joking around as they are. "But it does make my life significantly harder."

"My room on Persephone was about getting away from people who thought they knew what was right for me without asking me what I thought," Mitz says, but it's too much like truth for him to say it loudly or angrily. He begins to step backwards into the engine room and away from Jerel. "I'm not you. I tried that. I'm not going to try it again, Jerel. Whether it's you the doctor who everyone loves or you the ship's medic who knows everyone, I'm not going to do it."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Tue Oct 11, 2016 11:49 pm

Dick should focus on what makes them /both/ happy. He shouldn't let himself suffer just to prop up Jerel. That shouldn't be how this works, surely. They're supposed to be equals, even if society doesn't really see them that way.

"You don't necessarily have to come up with a whole lot of new insults to try and gauge my level of hide," D'tor is quick to assure him.

"You don't have to be me. But you can't be this." Jerel stabs his finger at the engine room. "There is a whole universe out here, Mitz, and it's a good place, filled with good people. You can't have one awkward experience and just pull away from everything. You exist, Mitz. You're alive. So /be/ alive. Take up space. Do things. Don't /hide/. You're so much better than that."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Oct 12, 2016 12:50 am

You're right, though. Society doesn't see them as equal. Dick might have wanted to lift Jerel up for a while.

"Don't I? What's the matter, D'tor, are you scared that I would be able to penetrate as deeply as I have in the past?" Tremas smirks over his cup.

"One--one awkward experience, is, is that what you think that was?" Mitz looks shocked, honestly, that Jerel would say that to him. Jerel's always been better than him, sure, but Mitz was always under the impression that Jerel understood that Mitz was impossible, at least. That's why he was so kind all the time--when he was kind. Right? "And what does that mean, better? I'm made for this," Mitz mirrors Jerel's stabbing finger to the engine room. "I'm /good/ at this. I love it. I've never loved anything in my life before, Jerel! You've always known what you're made for. I do things. I do this."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Oct 12, 2016 8:59 pm

At the expense of himself. Jerel doesn't want that. It's more than how he's been taught not to want it, okay? He really doesn't want it. He really wants Dick to be happy as well as himself. Properly.

D'tor gives him a look that's as sparkly as it is exasperated. "You've never had a problem with depth before."

"Yes, Mitz, it was awkward. It wasn't offensive or miserable or rude. You didn't say much, but what you did say was mostly fine. A little green, a lot unsure, and mostly it just seemed like you wanted to get out of there the whole time. Which, actually, was the rude thing. No one's happy about talking to someone who obviously doesn't want to talk to them." Jerel runs his hands through his hair and leans back against the bulkhead. "I'm glad that you love this. You should love it. But it shouldn't be the only thing you have in your life."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Oct 12, 2016 9:11 pm

That what they'll work on, then. So...Dick might not know how to do that properly. Or well. So keep him on his toes, gorgeous? Look out for him. Jerel's just more important to him than, well, him. So he might naturally ignore all that stuff.
(Imagine all of Dick's Guide exes turning up for a party or something and just SHOCKED at how honestly happy Dick is, they had no idea he was so miserable all the time until now)

Tremas chuckles lowly. "No, that isn't something I'm particularly concerned with."

"Why not?" Mitz asks, honestly looking for an answer. He's happy. He was happy, at least, though he knows from past experience that he'll question everything now that Jerel has ranked him and found him wanting. He'll always be trying to get approval, even after telling himself that he doesn't need it.
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Oct 12, 2016 9:56 pm

Jerel thinks he might enjoy taking care of Dick. Actually, he knows he will. So. That'll work.
(It's that low-grade discomfort, longing, upset, that just goes beneath notice because all of everything else is so loud! Dick, you feel everything happy so loudly and everything sad so quietly.)

D'tor cocks his eyebrow. "I'm only saying, I'm satisfied with the level of penetration."

"Because there's so much more out here." Jerel knows he has to give Mitz his personal space right now, no matter how much he wants to grip his arms and hold him there, reassure himself that Mitz is really there. "You deserve more. You deserve to have friends and family. To have fun. And love, to have someone to love. You came out here so people would ask you what you think, what you want, rather than just telling you? Well, I know I'm telling you, right now, but that's because it doesn't seem to have occurred to you that things can be different for you now."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Oct 12, 2016 10:12 pm

Dick loves taking care of Jerel, he grins. So that definitely works out.
(He just grew up not wanting to worry Alfred. He sorted it out.)

"Are you indeed," Tremas mutters into his cup. He puts it down and looks at D'tor. "What of this new thick hide of yours? To amend my depth, to protect yourself? Perhaps I once had more of an ability to hook into you, but this hide has grown. Now I do not and it's right where you want everything to be. I can't have that."

"Things /are/ different for me now," Mitz argues quietly. He just wants to be able to run away, but there's only one place he has to hide and Jerel can walk in there whenever he wants to. And all that about family and friends and love, that's madness. Deserving is one thing, anyone can deserve stuff. But actually getting it? Mitz can barely handle imagining the rejection he would face. He wouldn't be able for it in real life.
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Oct 12, 2016 11:05 pm

Dick takes care of Jerel like breathing.
(Imagine Alfred suddenly realising a long-held tension between his shoulders has melted away between one morning and the next.)

"Yes, you have to have everything where you want it to be." D'tor finishes off the last of his food and sits back. "Your hooks got in before the hide, Tremas. The hide has grown around them. It leaves you less wiggle room, but I'm sure you can work with that."

"How?" Jerel asks. He wishes he could see how without having to ask.
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Oct 12, 2016 11:20 pm

Dick presses his lips against Jerel's forehead and talks a breath away from his skin. Yeah, well, he fucked up recently. So he's not /that/ good at it.
(He might not even know what it is that went away, not for a long time.)

"Well, that is particularly pleasing to hear," Tremas says mildly like that isn't exactly what he wants D'tor to repeat until the end of time. "Now get up. It's time to walk you back to your dragon."

"I have choice," Mitz says without thinking, then surprises himself with the answer. "Uh. Yeah. I, I have choices. I got to choose this engine to work with. It wasn't the only ship I coulda been on. This is the one I--I--it's the one I wanted. I'm not...people don't make me feel right, Jerel. It's like everyone is just better and I can't get anything right. Engines aren't like that. I /like/ it. I'm not hiding, Jerel, I'm doing myself good."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Oct 12, 2016 11:51 pm

Hey, for once, Dick talked about what he wanted, and it had a good outcome. This was a good outcome, Dick.
(like how you don't notice how good it is to breathe until the cold comes back and you can't breathe again)

"So it is." D'tor heaves a sigh and pushes himself up from the table, groaning a little. "Mm. Be sure to let your people know the food was excellent."

Sounds like Mitz needs to take care of himself for a while before he can try to be around people again. Jerel scrubs his hands through his hair again. "All right. If that's what you choose, then that's what it is. But you can have more. When you're ready. People'll be there for you. I'll be there. I am here."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Oct 12, 2016 11:57 pm

Jerel is still with him. It could have gone any way whatsoever and if Jerel was still just talking to him, it would have been a good outcome
(bbs)

"I'll pass on the good news," Tremas promises, mildly amused that D'tor would bother but of course he would bother. "I'm sure they'll be thrilled with the praise."

"Well, yeah, I mean..." Mitz goes to mirror the action, pushing his hand through his hair, but he notices in time and forces his hands into the pockets of his coveralls. "I'm not saying don't come here. I know you're here. And I want you to come and visit, when you want. Not just because you think I can't live."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Thu Oct 13, 2016 7:03 pm

It would have been fine. Jerel wouldn't have called it good. He clutches at Dick's shirt again, almost unconsciously.

D'tor pauses, once he's stood up. "Are you coming?"

"I wanna see you. Shun-sheng duh gao-wahn, Mitz, I've really missed you. You're my biggest--you were my--leaving you behind was my biggest regret." Jerel looks at him helplessly. "I don't know how I ever did it."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Thu Oct 13, 2016 8:20 pm

Dick rubs Jerel's hands, getting them to ease up a little. Bunching fabric feels weird. Not bad, like it used to, but weird. Come on. They should go get something to eat and calm down a little.

"Of course," Tremas replies, dabbing his mouth with a napkin. He's barely eaten anything, actually, since he was too busy playing with D'tor but that's nothing really new. True that it hasn't happened in quite some time but it's certainly not /new/. Nothing about them is /new/. He gets up and leads D'tor without a word to him.

Mitz snorts softly at Jerel's cussing, but he's a little too raw to laugh properly. "You did it 'cos you needed to," Mitz supplies. "'Cos there are more important things than making sure I had someone to talk to. It's fine. Even when I thought you were dead, it was--well, it wasn't fine, Jerel, nothing was fine. But I wasn't angry. I'm not, I'm not angry."
He's a little angry.
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by nocturnalie on Thu Oct 13, 2016 8:29 pm

Jerel smooths out his grip on Dick's shirt, and nods. Yeah, that sounds good. Please. Jerel really should shower, though, soon, get all this--this smell off him.

D'tor goes where Tremas brings him, feeling pliant and happy to obey, to follow, to be led and guided. He doesn't usually end their meetings feeling like this. Usually there's a lot more storming off, cloaks flapping. He walks at Tremas' side, oddly content, warm, full, sated--it's good. Maybe they can do this more often. Maybe it's got a lot to do with D'tor deciding to stop talking on certain things. "It's been good to see you, Tremas."

"Yeah, you are." Jerel clears his throat. "And you should be. I was selfish. I wasn't a good brother. But we can try again. Right?"
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

Post by sinistra_blache on Thu Oct 13, 2016 8:53 pm

Dick exhales in a rush. Okay, he needed Jerel to say that because he felt really shitty bringing it up after, well, everything. Thanks. But he doesn't have to rush to the shower just yet. ...they, Dick says purposefully but a little shy, they don't have to rush to the shower just yet.

Tremas is just walking him back to where Tardith is hopefully still perched if the damned overgrown lizard didn't get bored. He looks at D'tor sidelong. "Don't get sentimental on me, D'tor," he warns but it's in good humour. "I was having such a pleasant morning."

"I'm not--okay, I'm mad, but it's not because of that. Not all of it," Mitz rushes, then shakes his head. "It doesn't matter, alright, because you are a good brother. You're still putting up with this even though you got away from it years ago. I mean, I'm just dumped on you out of nowhere. And you're still looking out for me. Bad brothers don't do that. I'm the bad brother, if we're going to start throwing that concept around. So, yeah, let me try again."
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Re: [Snoozevamp] The Cage

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