[Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Tue Nov 06, 2012 11:43 pm

"That little /shit/," Tim says, viciously angry for a split second before he actually processes what Bart said. "...what, what, the baby? Oh, uh, the /baby/. Bart, I don't - I don't know what to tell you, we just. Never, uh. We never talk about it. And I didn't /lie/, I just didn't - elaborate?" He makes a face at himself. "Oh my god, do I even hear myself, what am I doing, you're right. I lie. Oh my god."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Tue Nov 06, 2012 11:46 pm

"No, no, you don't do it all the time!" Bart says, panicked. "Just sometimes, when you think I won't notice. I can't think of any other time, actually," he babbles, "Just that time, when I asked you straight out what you were to each other and you said just friends. Your heart-rate rose and you wouldn't look at me. I could've been wrong, I thought maybe you'd /wanted/ to be more than friends but it had never happened--and then Damian told me--but Tim, if he hadn't, I would've worried about it for /weeks/, wondering why you were keeping something from me, before I popped like this." He's pulling at his own hair, now, trying to get himself to shut up. "I would've asked you again eventually, I swear, I just--Damian got there first, and then Kon realised something was up..."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Tue Nov 06, 2012 11:56 pm

"Do you talk about all the stuff I do often?" Tim asks Bart, finally looking at him again. He wants to go and hug Bart, hold him and promise that he'll make it okay - but he can't, can he? It'll just be another lie.
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Nov 07, 2012 12:01 am

"/No/, I never have before," Bart says. "Not even with Kon, and definitely not with Damian, I promise, I swear, you can still trust me." Tim is standing so /awkwardly/ and so far away, Bart doesn't like being so close to his Guide and yet so far away. "I've never said anything before, but once I started I just--I just couldn't stop. Kon was trying to help."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Nov 07, 2012 12:06 am

"I /do/ trust you," Tim says. He takes a step towards Bart, then curls his hands into fists and steps back again. "I don't trust anyone more. I mean - I mean, do you have to talk to people about me because you can't talk to me? I'm bad at - people. I thought... I thought maybe it was different with you. But I'm still - bad. And I don't want to be. I'm," he swallows, hard. "I'm sorry, I don't want you to feel like this, not because of me, not because of anything."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Nov 07, 2012 12:10 am

"No," Bart says, still horrified that he's putting that look on Tim's face even as he's trying to explain himself. Trying and failing, apparently. "No, I told you, I've never talked to anyone about you before. I've just--if I've worried about something, I've just come up with a way to bring it up with you and then brought it up with you. It's just that Kon got to me before I could come up with anything this time, I promise. Tim, you're not--" He takes two steps forward, to counter Tim's step-forward-step back. "You're not bad with me. You just didn't tell me the truth, and it freaked me out, because I thought you were keeping something really terrible from me. Like... like that you had a baby."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Nov 07, 2012 12:17 am

Tim's face kind of contorts with a mixture of horror, amusement and actual anger. "Everyone thinks it was mine," he says softly, furious. "When Steph was pregnant I just didn't talk about it because people would freak out and, and think I was off getting girls pregnant and - christ, Bart." His lip curls at himself. "I'm pretty sure you can guess at the problem with that situation. And, and, and okay, /okay/ I didn't tell you that we dated because - I didn't want you to flip. ...I don't know what I was thinking. I was worried that - that you'd think that I'm all," he gestures weakly. "Weird because you're a guy."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Nov 07, 2012 12:23 am

It's the anger that has Bart backing up again, 'til his back hits the table. "I'm sorry," he says softly, miserably. "I didn't mean to be like everyone else, to think that you'd just--gotten Steph pregnant, then, then, I don't know. That I'd distracted you from her and your baby because I was your Sentinel. I was just /worried/, because you don't lie to me like that, so I thought since you had lied it had to be something pretty big. I don't think you're weird. I think that you loved Steph--love her--and you love me. That's not /weird/." He speaks quickly. "I'm-sorry-I-flip-out-so-much-I'm-just-not-sure-where-I-stand-with-you-sometimes-and-you're-angry-at-me-and-I'm-/sorry/."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Nov 07, 2012 12:29 am

Tim watches Bart back away from him, plain horrified, and puts his hand out like he's calming a freaked animal. "No, no, no," he says, quietly, forcing calm into his voice. "No, I'm sorry, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at me. This was - all me. And I'm mad at me. Don't... Bart, please don't be scared of me, please, you're all I have. I can't make you this sad, I can't, it's killing me. Tell me what to do. Please."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Nov 07, 2012 12:31 am

"Just, just, just--" Bart holds his breath for a couple of seconds, to stop the hyperventilating. Then he tries again. "Just tell me about you and Steph. Tell me the /truth/."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Nov 07, 2012 12:40 am

Tim steps forward again and, this time, keeps going. "There's really not much to tell, I promise," he says softly. "She got pregnant before we started dating and it was - safe. I stayed with her through the pregnancy and after and... then she dumped me. Bruce didn't make it easy for her to be around here so - we're friends, but not like me and Kon and - you said I love her? I don't - I don't know. Not like you. Bart? Not like you. Steph was just the first person who ever wanted to be around me and she'll always be important to me. But she's not my Sentinel. She's not you. She doesn't, she, ah. She left me because she wanted, uh, more after she recovered from the pregnancy and - I didn't."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Nov 07, 2012 12:44 am

Bart watches him closely as he comes closer. He's watching the dilation of Tim's pupils, and the way Tim meets his eyes; he's watching for sweat and for nervous hands. He's listening to Tim's heart rate and his breathing.

Finally, /finally/, when Tim's close enough, Bart reaches out for his hand. He holds it with both of his own, maybe subconsciously feeling for pulse and sweat--but consciously, he's holding Tim's hand because he needs the point of contact. He needs to be touching Tim and to feel anchored on unsteady ground.
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Nov 07, 2012 12:49 am

Tim exhales in a rush, holding onto Bart like a lifeline. "...you can ask her, if you want. Any time you want. I'll call her and, and try to explain. If that's what you want. ...I'll make this better, Bart, I promise."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Nov 07, 2012 12:53 am

"I just needed to hear you tell me the truth," Bart says, his voice thick with definitely-not-tears. "I believe you."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Nov 07, 2012 12:56 am

"I'm sorry," Tim says, voice equally thick. He opens his arms hopefully.
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Nov 07, 2012 12:58 am

Bart throws himself into them, hugging Tim tighter than he ever has before, /ever/. "I shoulda just said something to you, I know, I'm really sorry, please, /please/ forgive me. I forgive you."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:04 am

Tim pets through Bart's hair, fixing it after how he pulled at it before. "I forgive you. Of course I forgive you. You, you don't need to apologise, though. It's - okay, now?"

Kon, with his timing perfected, comes in with cocoa. "Hey, hugging, awesome," he beams.
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:06 am

Bart winces a little; his scalp is still tender. He presses his face to Tim's neck--for comfort more than for scenting--and waves at Kon, twiddling his fingers without moving away from Tim. "It's okay," he assures Tim. It's not /great/--they haven't discussed the entire kissing thing, yet, but they probably won't do that with Kon in the room.
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:13 am

Tim eases his touch and rubs the back of Bart's neck gently, how he likes sometimes. Tim knows it's not all okay. He would be able to tell even if he weren't a Guide. But, as it happens...

Kon stands for a second and then claps his hands. "Well. I better skedaddle, huh? Glad you two worked it out, I'll just - yeah," he makes his way to the window.

"We're going to have words, you and I," Tim warns, conversationally, without moving away from Bart.

Kon winces. "Yeah, I know."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:16 am

Bart hums, pleased like a puppy being petted, at Tim rubbing the back of his neck.

But he drags his eyes open when Kon says he's going, and manages to pull away from Tim enough to say, "Kon, wait. Thanks. I know it didn't work out /great/, but--you gave me good advice. You told me to talk to Tim. That was the right thing to do. /Thanks/."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:19 am

Kon grins, all farmboy charm and sincerity. "Hey, man, it's what I'm here for," he says. "Don't worry about it."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:23 am

Bart snuggles back into Tim's arms, pleased to have said his bit.
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:25 am

Tim catches Kon's eye as he leaves the room via the window, communicating his thanks for helping Bart. He understands that he did, he just - doesn't really like that his Sentinel needed to talk to someone else about his feelings and emotions. Especially Tim's best friend - or, well. Just friend now, maybe. He'll have to feel that one out from now on.

He goes back to rubbing Bart's neck. "Better drink that cocoa?"
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:27 am

"Mm, yeah," Bart says. "In a minute. Just let me--" He squeezes Tim a bit tighter.
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:31 am

Tim's breath is momentarily squeezed out of him, and he smiles in response. Though it does falter after a moment. "...I thought you were going to leave me," he admits, hushed and a little scared.
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:32 am

"/Never/," Bart says immediately, fiercely. "Never, never, never. No matter what, Tim, I /swear/."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:36 am

Tim curls around Bart, holding him close and tight. "I wouldn't have let you," he continues, oddly distant. "It would have gotten weird and desperate, but I would have done anything to keep you. ...I knew, straight away, as soon as I thought it was happening, that you were leaving. That you'd had enough. I knew I would do anything for you." He buries his face in Bart's hair. The held back tears fall, finally, but very few. Still in control, even when he's losing it. "/Anything/."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:53 am

Bart can smell the salt of the tears, and it breaks his heart. He made Tim cry. (/He/ made Tim cry. He made /Tim/ cry. He made Tim /cry/.) "I'll never leave you," he says desperately. "Tim, you have to believe me. I'll keep saying it every day for the rest of our lives until you believe me, Tim, I'm never going to leave you. You won't be able to beat me away with a stick, I promise. If you get sick of me, too bad, you're stuck with me. I'm here and I'm not going /anywhere/, Tim. My Tim."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:57 am

"I believe you," Tim says, after taking a steadying breath. "I was, ah, hysterical. Before. I believe you. I don't think you're going to leave but, well. That's not going to stop me from doing absolutely anything for you. I love you. ...please stop feeling bad, this is all my fault, I promise."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:59 am

"It's /not/," Bart says immediately. He pulls back enough so he can look Tim in the face--and wipe his eyes, brushing the tears away with his thumb. "It's not all your fault. It's my fault, too. I love you. I'm gonna be right here to make it better, I promise."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Nov 07, 2012 2:03 am

Tim nods, then smiles. "We're kind of ridiculous, you know."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Nov 07, 2012 2:03 am

"Are we?" Bart raises his eyebrows, then thinks back over what they've said. "Well. I guess, maybe a little."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Nov 07, 2012 2:09 am

"I like it," Tim says, then backtracks quickly. "Not the hurt feelings and the yelling and the stupid crying, not that! I mean, more. Well. Couples always care so much they get stupid, don't they? And we care so much we get stupid. I'm so tied up in planning for this, for you, that I thought I might miss the chance to be stupid."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Nov 07, 2012 2:13 am

Bart actually giggles a little. "I think we've got the 'get stupid' part covered, sure." Then he's immediately uncomfortable. "Uh. Speaking of getting stupid. Um. So--so you know, Kon said I should just--say it, so it doesn't ruin anything between us. So you don't get worried, and /I/ don't get worried, and it's another thing hidden between us. Uh. Okay. I want to kiss you. Properly. Like you're my boyfriend. At some point, whenever you're ready, if you want," he adds quickly. "We can go our whole lives and you might not be ready and that's okay! But you should know that, if you ever want it--so do I."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Nov 07, 2012 2:18 am

Tim freezes, but doesn't attempt to flee or escape in any way. He watches Bart's face. "Okay. Some day we're going to find it hilarious that you took kissing-me advice from Kon, but I'll let that slide for a second," he says quickly, dryly, trying to lighten the mood. "I, uh. I've kissed before and I didn't like it. But, but you know what else I did before and didn't like it? I didn't like holding hands. And I didn't like hugging and I /hated/ sharing my bed. ...you're special. You're the one I like. Bart, you're the One. So, so, yeah, when I'm ready. Okay. But - don't give up on me?"
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Nov 07, 2012 2:20 am

"/Never/," Bart says, just as fierce as before. "I'll never give up on you. You're the One for me, too. So long as I've got you, I can handle anything." Like never ever having sex. The idea doesn't seem quite so daunting, knowing he'll still have Tim to hold when they're ninety.
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Nov 07, 2012 2:25 am

Tim smiles, gentle and tired but /so/ in love. "I, uh," he falters. He doesn't know how to say this. "It might be soon? I don't know. I've been kind of - curious. And. Thinking about it. ...usually around shower time?" How to broach the subject of your boyfriend's wank sessions turning you on, hm hm hm.
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Nov 07, 2012 12:28 pm

"Oh. Oh!" Bart finds himself blushing again, but he holds Tim's eyes. "Well. That's--good, right? Curiosity is good?"
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:03 pm

"Probably, yeah," Tim smiles a little at Bart's bashfulness. He can't help but find it adorable. He's only human.
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:03 pm

"So, you can, y'know. If ever you want to--" Bart shrugs. "It's something we can talk about. Yeah?"
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:09 pm

"But - I mean, yes, but... tell me, okay? All I know is that you're feeling sad or - terrible," Tim mumbles, still a little upset. "And it makes me want to tell you anything. So tell me, okay?"
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:12 pm

"I'll tell you," Bart swears. He pulls Tim back in tight to his hug. "I was gonna tell you. I promise. Kon just got to me first, that's all, I was on the verge of needing to talk to you and Kon saw me looking about to explode and I just burst."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:16 pm

"Okay, okay, no, sh, it's alright, I believe you," Tim says quickly. He didn't mean to start that up again. He doesn't want Bart to get all frantic and worried. He holds onto Bart further, rubbing his back again. "I know."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by nocturnalie on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:23 pm

Bart starts to breathe again, his fists clutched in Tim's shirt. After a moment, he manages to relax enough to mirror Tim's actions, stroking his hands down Tim's back. "I want you to know--I love you, I'm attracted to you, I /trust/ you."
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

Post by sinistra_blache on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:28 pm

Tim smiles very slowly. "I like that. May I use it as well?"
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Re: [Sentinel] Tim Tam and Mars Bart

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